Over the past four years, we’ve gotten a lot of comments from readers about our observations on Texas barbecue. Good or bad, we post them all, with the exception of those with extreme profanity. Texas BBQ is an emotional issue.

However, a comment on Gary Jacobson’s Monday post “Memo to Gov. Perry: Texas needs a truth in BBQ law” set a new bar for comments on our blog. A reader tagged as “Anonymous” left a pronouncement that summed it all up better than we could ever do.

Here’s an open offer to Anonymous: you have permanent membership in the Posse and we’d be happy to buy you a three-meat platter and a few beers at the real Texas BBQ joint of your choice. Thanks for sharing and we appreciate your support for truth in Texas BBQ.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post “Memo to Gov. Perry: Texas needs a truth in BBQ law…“:

FOR GOD’S SAKE MAN, DO YOU NOT HOLD ANYTHING SACRED!!!

Fine BBQ, like fine wine, should be legally protected against false advertising, carpet-bagger influences or just plain old bait/switch scams. Just because we can’t agree on how to spell it (BBQ, barbecue, barbeque, etc) does not mean we can’t appreciate the heaven-sent goodness from the culinary world that involves smoke.

Perhaps this decal could be more like a hunting license with special “stamps” that would identify, in advance, how the que is produced. For example, there could be a “no pellet” stamp which might look like deer scat with a circle and a line through it. A picture of old sparky might denote that they use electricity either directly or through the use of an automated temperature controller.

If an establishment uses gas…(many pictures come to mind all of which involve flatulence). Using a crockpot for anything but sauce and beans should get the establishment the designation of a “crock of ….” stamp. If a microwave is used on the premises perhaps a “U-turn” stamp could be prominently placed.

This does not even account for places that decide they should waste their time, money, wood, and my time cooking an assortment of foods on a pit such as pizzas, kolaches, other bread products and healthy veggies, etc. This deserves a special stamp such as a circle with a line through it on top of an asparagus spear; you get the picture.

These decals should be visible from the road, perhaps on a 4×6 foot sign (if not larger), so that a passerby would not be led astray and mistakenly venture into the parking lot. Don’t mess with Texas BBQ!

PS: Thanks to Shannon Bankston, pitmaster and owner of Fatboy’s BBQ in Cooper for the classic quote, “If it ain’t wood, it ain’t good.”

(Photo of Smitty’s Market fire pit (top) by Tom Fox/DMN)

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